Until today I call this day my moment of crisis and if ever I had doubts about my trip or was ready to give up, this was the time I was closest to do so. I actually took my German mobile phone which I had with me for emergency calls and decided that this moment definitely qualified. I called my parents and as soon as they were on the line, I broke down. I had reached my limits, I was shaking and crying, saying that I couldn’t take it anymore and that all I wanted was to come home. All the stress and exhaustion of the past hours, days and weeks seemed to unload and poured out of me in one big wave of tears. Looking back, I must say that my parents’ reaction was great. Although they would have had every reason to freak out hearing me like this, they remained calm and serene. All they did was listen and trying to calm me down. Even when I said that I had enough and was ready to take the next flight home, they did not push me either way. Neither did they tell me off for being so silly to chicken out just because of a little bit of trouble, nor did they completely take my side and encouraged me to come back – although it would have been very easy for them to do so and I do believe that, to a certain extend, they would have been glad and relieved if I had come home. After all, they are my parents. But because they are, they didn’t let me give up that easy. Instead, we agreed that I would take some time to relax and then take a decision whether yes or no I would continue my trip as planned. I gave myself a week from now to see how I feel. If I still wanted to come back by then, I knew my parents would back me up. In the end, there was no one I had to prove anything to, except for myself. But then again, was I ready to give up on my dream? Victoria, you have no idea how many times I thought about what you wrote me in one of your early emails: “If you cannot pull this off, no one can.” It was a compliment and a verdict at the same time. But at this point, I didn’t know if I could measure up to it.

After the phone call I laid down for a while but couldn’t sleep. By the time I realised that it was because I was hungry, it was past lunch time and the hostel’s kitchen was already closed. I went to see the cook, told him my story of not having eaten for almost 30 hours and asked him if there was anything he could do for me. It was a young black guy and perhaps me being blond and looking desperate helped to trigger his motivation. He said all he could do was maybe some banana pancakes and although he obviously thought this was something to apologise for, he hardly could have done me a bigger favour – I love banana pancakes! In any case, when you haven’t eaten in such a long time, you basically don’t care what you get...

I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing at Kiboko Camp. If nothing else, now I was exhausted from feeling exhausted. The last bit of energy I had left was used up for my crisis break-down today, so I really needed to recharge my batteries. And I did that by doing nothing.

Kiboko Camp was a very nice place to stay, a little bit out of the city centre but still at a walkable distance. It consists of a main building with the reception area, a bar and some dormitories, a restaurant, parking space for overland trucks, a camping ground and several chalets with separate accommodation of different standards. I had my room in an A-shaped hut close by the main building. The hut was entirely made of wood and had a steep thatched roof down to the ground. All there was inside were two beds, a small shelf made of bamboo, a table and a chair. It was simple but somehow cosy and I was lucky to have the room for myself. Overall, I am not surprised that Kiboko Camp is supposed to be the most popular place for backpackers in Lilongwe. It is a very welcoming hostel with a comfy reception area that provides lots of information for travellers. The walls are covered with pinboards that hold lots of papers and flyers about what to do in Malawi and the most popular destinations in some surrounding countries. A big table is loaded with magazines, guidebooks, brochures, and a big guestbook with previous travellers’ references. What I liked most was a book made by travellers for people passing by in the future that was constantly updated with the latest information about transportation schedules, opening hours, prices, etc.. Before I left, I would also leave my marks in here. Outside the main building was a small area with sofas and a few billiard tables for people to gather in a relaxed atmosphere which was very popular at night.

In the evening I called Diana, an English girl working for a local tour operator, whose phone number I had received from Catrien who I met in Arusha while I was in Tanzania. We arranged for a meeting tomorrow afternoon. Last but not least, I enjoyed a vegetarian lasagne at Kiboko’s restaurant and went to bed early.